Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

 There's a fun new way to get feedback from other writers while you write your story! Six Sentence Sunday  allows writers to sign up and post a link to their blog with 6 sentences of a story they are either currently writing or have had published. It's a wonderful, fun way to get your writing out there and get feedback while you're at it. 
So here's my first submission!!

Nala's Story (Working Title)

As she sidestepped a puddle from the storm earlier that day, a stone under her foot started to wobble, threatening to tip her in to murky water, filthy from the dust of the alley. The hesitation as she regained her footing was all the time her stalker needed, swiftly covering the distance and grabbing her around the waist, turning her around and slamming her against the wall. Her vision swum as the large man grabbed her bag, rifling through it with no care, throwing books she would repair at home in to the dirt and muck on the ground.He finally found her wallet, ripped it open and grabbed a fistful of cash, shoved it in to his pockets and turned his attention back to her. Her eyes widened, her breath caught in her chest, her mind screaming at her to run before he grabbed her again, but her legs wouldn’t listen to logic. Nala thrashed her head around, trying to catch a glimpse of anyone who might come to her aid, all the while the thug moved closer, enjoying the fear in her eyes, knowing she would be unable fend him off. 

8 comments:

  1. Thanks love! Hope to get some kick-arse feedback!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yikes, great description. She could always kick him between the legs, though! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very descriptive. I have to admit to being a little confused as how she could see what he was doing when she was facing the wall and dizzy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Gayle, and Bree. The option is there for her to defend herself, but it doesn't quite fit her character just yet. Thanks for the suggestion though.
    Bree, sorry, I suppose I should have said slamming her back against the wall. Thanks for the heads up!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Terrific work. I love how you bring the reader in and make them feel as if this could be them in this moment. Great job. Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a great idea! Hi! I am a new follower GFC. I would like to invite you over to my blog for a follow visit. I write book reviews and stories about my crazy life. I also have a giveaway going on this week. Hope you'll enter. Thanks. Donna

    http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Donna, I'll be sure to come follow, though I'll have to have a read a bit later, have a busy couple of days right now. Thanks for dropping in :)

    ReplyDelete